Live for the moment
by carshaa
Summary: Hermione has to cope with the loss of her life, is there really a reason for her to continue to live?


Hermione walked on the almost white sand, enjoying the feeling of warmth and yet coolness between her toes. She smiled as her thoughts went across songs she loved and their tunes were playing in her mind, giving her a perfect little moment alone. Some might say that she was on the edge of loosing her grip of sanity, but others would just state that she was finding peace, finding a haven in the deeps of her mind. The truth was that she just wanted some silence and did anything to get it.  
  
Her feet were screaming after water but the rest of Hermione was enjoying just watching the sea from the beach. It almost seemed too perfect for her after what she'd been threw. How could there be such calm and peace on earth when everything in her life had just gone up-side-down? She felt a tear leak and slowly fall down her cheek, but she smiled. She needed this moment more then anything. And she wouldn't let it go away all too quickly. Her arms slowly crept around her thin body, protecting herself from an unknown chillness, or perhaps protecting herself from herself. She didn't know which. Both seemed to be as likely. And that scared her more then anything she'd been threw yet.  
  
The oddly warm wind blew softly giving Hermione goose bumps on her skin yet making her feel great. The sun was just setting and gave everything a red glow; it was beautiful to least say. But it was all ruined by the fact that she felt that this was too perfect. But she appreciated it, and she loved it. She needed it. She had always loved sunsets, but this one was the most beautiful she'd yet to come across. It was. perfect. She smiled a satisfied smile when she started to relax to enjoy the scene properly. She could just close her eyes, listen to the sounds of the sea and breathe deeply. This moment was something someone would appreciate if one had gone threw the same as she had; this was a peace of heaven to her.  
  
*  
  
She walked slowly to her house, well not really a house, more like a cottage. But it was sweet and she loved it. And it had been the only place available when she had desperately needed to get away from her apartment.  
  
Their apartment.  
  
The sea and the cottage was something that gave her a little peace of mind now when she was in search for some relief in her grief.  
  
Albus had recommended this place to her; he had been very kind to her after the incidence, almost fatherly like. He was giving her a distant comfort which was the only way it could be given.  
  
He had arranged everything, also installed the floo channel so that she could visit him 24/7. But also she had noticed that he had done a great deal to make the home completely different from the one she and Draco had shared.  
  
She sighed at the thought of his name; the thought was painful and filled with memories. The place she loved the most was the kitchen. It was small and messy.  
  
But it was warm from the small amount of space and lovely because she had decorated it to be just so. It was also completely different from the one. Draco and she had shared. She remembered it to be so expensive and big, with loads of space. It was a kitchen where you could do masterpieces, it was exactly how Draco had wanted it, and that's why she had obliged to it. She had never been the type to do "miracles" in the kitchen, more the like to do good, but quickly done, food. Draco was a master in the kitchen. Oh, so many times she'd watched him work, feeling quite happy and loving him even more.  
  
She hated her bed though, it was very comfy of course, but it was a single person bed with nothing more then that. It got very cold at night so she used three different blankets and sheets at night, and it was now in the middle of the summer. It always reminded her of what now was gone, gone for ever.  
  
She had a king size bathtub that she absolutely adored, it was the one thing she had insisted to keep from her apartment with Draco. They had shared so many memories in it, so many moments of joy, many oh many nights laughing, loving. Their unborn child had conceived in that bathtub, but the child. They had been so happy, their first born would've been greeted with such an amount love that he or she would've been spoiled rotten. Not that they would've cared. The new arrangements had been made immediately and after a month, they were ready for the little bundle of joy to arrive. Oh god... If they'd only known how much anger they'd stirred up among the families, if they'd only been more careful, if only.. Oh god, how can there be so much cruelty in this life for someone to go and destroy two persons hopes and happiness? The happy moments, the day that that they were destroyed, the moment in her mind.  
  
The walk in the park, the moment of joy just before the moment it went dark, the kiss they'd shared the moment before she lost everything, the cry of fear before she lost her consciousness, the moment before she was attacked by the last person she'd ever expected It to be, the moment she was betrayed, the moment she was destroyed.  
  
The moment she lost it all.  
  
The moment she lost love.  
  
*  
  
The first thing she remembered after that was opening her eyes and feeling nothing but pain. Pain beyond salvation, pain beyond tears. When the pain faded the first thing she noticed was that something was gone. A part of her was gone from her, she blinked looked around, sensed the loss and cried.  
  
The child was gone, her abdomen was flat and she was dressed in a white cloth, a cloth they give you in the hospital. The moment of grief as the hope was lost, but hope found its way back though, it crept slowly to her ached heart and whispered a soothing name 'Draco'.  
  
So in her state of weakness she cried for Draco, yelled, shouted. Her cries were heard and a nurse ran in, the nurse looked very familiar but instead of the glad, sympathetic, glance you'd expect of her she had a cold look filled with hatred and satisfied look that scared Hermione to the core. The nurse fixed her red hair back, placing pins to push back some loose strands. Placing white glows on her hands and turning to her. Smiling at the pale, tired girl in front of her she drew her wand from her white sleeve. Hermione suddenly remembered, the moment in the park, the moment of destruction, the moment she was attacked, the attacker was in front of her, the attacker was the person she'd believed to be her closest friend. The attacker was Virginia Weasley. A moment of hurt, anger, pain and disbelief was now going threw her. And the next with the next moment when Virginia had her wand raised she decided.  
  
The decision of death and life.  
  
'Draco' whispered her heart.  
  
She decided life.  
  
She threw her too thin body from the bed, jumping on the surprised attacker and causing her to fall backwards with Hermione on top. With the overpower Hermione continued her attack for life and quickly took the wand from Virginias greedy grip and within that same moment she screamed 'Stupefy' and Virginia was out cold.  
  
The moment she survived.  
  
*  
  
It was in the next moment that Albus flooed to her room with a great hurry, it was in the next one that she jumped into his awaiting embrace and found comfort. When she had calmed down a bit, he called after aurors and they took Virginia into custody, for the attack of a girl and the murder of a unborn child and a man. Hermione was shaken and hurt and begged Albus to return to her loved one, for the need of love. The next moment changed her life, for he told her that her loved one was dead, dead by the same hands of her unborn child murderer. The moment of shock and realisation caused a deep change in the woman. Her reason to live, her hope was gone.  
  
She was destroyed.  
  
*  
  
Hermione was angry at her self for letting her mind drift to that painful memory; it was hard, and almost unbearable. Yet she still lived, but for what? She only had one trusted friend, a person she could trust with her life. She had no family she could turn to; she couldn't turn to the Weasleys either. She had no one, she had a beautiful home though, a beautiful and wonderful sunset, and with those two could she get maybe a moment of peace.  
  
It is the moments that decide our fate. 


End file.
